The Warden Ishild
by unicornshadows
Summary: In her short life Ishild has known two identities: the daughter of Teryn Cousland and an apprentice mage. This all changes again when shortly after her harrowing Duncan comes looking for new wardens. rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Bryce paced the length of the hall his brow knotted and his lower lip clamped between his teeth in worry. Had it taken this long with Fergus? Should he go back in? No, the midwife would only chase him out again. He looked toward the door for what felt like the hundredth time and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He could no longer hear Eleanor's strained breathing or soft moans of effort; she wasn't one to wail and screech like other women. He remembered when Fergus had been born, the whole thing was over so quickly and with little fuss he had hope for the same thing this time knowing full and well it was not out of the ordinary for a man to lose his wife in childbirth. With that thought, the sudden silence from the chamber was too much for his already anxious mind to handle; he rushed to the door, able to hear nothing over the thudding of his own heart as he thrust it open. The midwife scowled at him a messy bundle of arms and legs in her arms, her apron stained with blood and mucus, Bryce stared at the tiny body and registered with sadness that it was unmoving; the frail skin tinged with a lifeless blue. He heard his wife moan and moved to her side his hand seeking hers. The midwife stepped back to give them some space so they could mourn in some semblance of quiet whilst she cleared the spoiled cloths and dirty water.

"Was it…" Eleanor's voice was breathless, pained with a hurt no salve could fix.

Bryce looked up to ask the midwife but she had left the room; he saw the cloth wrapped bundle and moved gingerly over to it. The child looked like it had been carved from the palest, softest marble; it looked so peaceful as if simply asleep. He brushed his fingertips lightly over its tiny forehead and then lowered them to pull the wrappings aside. He didn't need to; instinctively he knew it was a girl but he checked non-the-less for Eleanor's sake. "A girl." He heard the waver in his voice and placed the wrappings more securely around the body. He then turned his back on her and started to move to his wife's bedside once more.

Something made him stop however; a static feeling that ran from his toes to the back of his neck, the same feeling he had felt in the corridor. He turned to look back at the child and gasped, the sudden sound alarming his grief stricken wife. The child's eyelid had twitched, he was certain of it, just as he rushed back to the wrapped body the midwife came back through the door. He heard her groan as he picked up the child and unwrapped her. He laid her tiny frame against his shoulder and rubbed her back gently as the midwife closed in on him certain he was suffering some kind of grief driven delusion.

"Bryce?" Eleanor was looking at him in fear, perhaps thinking the same as the midwife, but there was something else written there on her features; something very similar to hope.

He felt the child move then, for certain, she started to nuzzle into the side of his neck and it was all he could do not to let out a yell of joy. Seconds later she started to whimper and then to both the midwife and Eleanor's surprise she started to cry. Soft frightened gurgles, but she was crying and moving and very much alive. He moved to Eleanor's side and lowered the child into her arms before kissing his wife on the forehead.

He watched as Eleanor cooed and coaxed the babe to silence. He smiled as the midwife began to fuss over the mother and child with renewed delight, encouraging Eleanor to feed the babe and blessing the Maker when the child latched on. When she asked Eleanor what the child was to be named Bryce caught his wife's eye and shrugged, he had no idea what to call a little girl. Eleanor smiled and said. "Ishild, her name is Ishild."

"Ishild! Come down here you'll fall and break your neck if you are not careful." Marien called after the wayward child, lifting her skirts she jogged so as not to lose sight of the girl. "This child will be the death of me." She muttered to herself as she rounded the corner of the stables.

"Ah Marien, is that my daughter I see on the roof?"

"My Lord." Marien's eyes bludged as she nearly crashed headfirst into the Teryn, she dropped into a quick curtsey to hide her embarrassment. "Yes that is your daughter. No matter what I do I cannot get her to act with more decorum."

"Well, she can be forgiven; after all the attention span of a six year old is hardly…" Bryce grew pale as he saw Ishild's footsteps falter. She teetered on the edge of the roof and then slipped, he heard Marien's scream and his own footsteps as he ran to try and catch his daughter. However he could only watch as she plummeted through the air. That was when he felt it; that static prickling he felt every so often around his daughter. He stopped dead as the pace of her fall seemed to slow and she landed neatly on her feet.

"Daddy! Daddy did you see? I was flying!" Ishild ran to him her dark curls bouncing behind her.

Bryce looked squarely at Marien who was gripping her neck her features clearly aghast. "What did you see Marien?"

Ishild was jumping up and down and hugging her father's legs trying to get his attention, she looked from Marien to her father and then back again. "If you didn't see I will have to do it again." She started to run off.

"No, Pup, I saw it now go and find your mother."

"But–"

"Now Ishild!" Bryce winced at the look of hurt that crossed his daughter's features. "Please go and find your mother." Ishild mumbled and kicked the dirt as she mopped off to follow her father's order. Bryce turned his attention back to Marien who hadn't moved. "Marien." He reached out and touched her shoulder.

Marien jumped and backed away from him. "My Lord your daughter…Ishild…she…she…"

"Marien…" Bryce began as gently as possible. "What do you think you saw?"

"Ishild…I…" A look of clarity suddenly crossed her face. "Nothing my Lord, I saw nothing." She curtsied again then started to back away. "I should make sure that Ishild finds her mother. Without getting into any trouble. Trouble seems to follow that girl like day follows night."

"Indeed." Bryce whispered, it was getting harder to ignore the fact that his daughter was different.

Bryce stared at the flames of the hearth and frowned. Once he had thought he lost his daughter to death and now he feared he was losing her to a force just as terrible. Perhaps his eyes had merely been playing tricks on him; Marien's eyes had deceived her too. The other possibility was almost too much to bear. A familiar knock scattered his thoughts and he looked up to see Eleanor enter. Dear sweet Eleanor, so kind and yet strong, she like him had felt the brunt of losing their only daughter once, how would she take this revelation.

"Ishild told me the strangest tale when I saw her to bed tonight."

"She did?"

"Yes, it seems she has discovered how to fly." She sat herself down on an empty chair and smoothed her skirts. "Apparently she leapt off the stable roof and instead of…how did Fergus put it...smashing her skull and spilling her brains on the cobbles." Eleanor smiled and shook her head remembering her son's excited additions to Ishild's wild tale. "She floated safely to the ground."

"She said that, did she?" Bryce heard the crack in his voice and knew that his wife had not missed it.

"Bryce, what is troubling you? You have been chewing your lip all afternoon and if you don't unknot your brow it will develop a permanent furrow."

Bryce sighed and looked at his wife; she was right. He ran his tongue over his lip and tasted blood where his teeth had worried it. "I don't know what to do Eleanor, I can't lose her again."

Eleanor looked truly worried now and she slipped from the chair to crouch at Bryce's feet, her hands lifting to cup his face before her fingers brushed over his brow smoothing it. "My love. I…I know." Bryce looked down at her as her thumb rubbed gently over his lip, her large grey eyes mirroring his pain and confusion. "I have suspected for some time now, it is just all these little things, I tried to account them to coincidences but it is getting harder as she gets older."

"We have to…" He didn't want to finish the sentence and Eleanor saved him with a gentle kiss.

"If we send her to the tower, she becomes one of them and we will lose her, she cannot be both a mage and a Cousland." She let go of his face and stood slowly. "But we have no other choice, if she is a mage and she is not sent to the tower…" She didn't need to finish the sentence they both knew what would become of their daughter if they didn't send her to the mages.

Bryce rose also and taking his wife in his arms he whispered softly against her hair. "She will always be a Cousland to me."


	2. Chapter 2

Water lapped at the sides of the small boat and Ishild leaned over the side to see if she could see any of the monsters Fergus had told her about. Her father's strong hand gripped the back of her dress and pulled her back from the side of the boat. "Careful Pup, you don't want to fall in."

"I can swim, Daddy." She said matter-of-factly and sat herself down chewing her lip, a trait she had got from him. "But even if I couldn't one of the lake monsters would save me. I don't believe what Fergus says about them being mean and eating little girls." The boatman looked at Bryce with a raised eyebrow and Bryce shook his head since she could string words together Ishild had made it very clear her imagination had very few limits. "Oh but it would be so exciting to meet one, we could tell stories and have swimming races and then Fergus would have to admit that I was right." She thrust herself against the side of the boat and tried to brush the top of the water with her fingers but Bryce's hand on the back of her dress prevented her from reaching too far. She turned and frowned at her father then looked at the boatman. "I am always right but Fergus would rather get eaten by a hundred darkspawn then admit it."

"Well Fergus doesn't have to worry about darkspawn does he?" Bryce looked at the boatman with a shrug.

"He does if he goes to the Deeproads."

"Lake monsters, darkspawn and deeproads, you should be going to Orlais to learn the bardic arts with all these tales you are spinning." The boatman laughed.

"Don't give her ideas." Bryce laughed and ruffled his daughter's hair.

The wharf was in sight and standing at the end was a tall man in robes of the First Enchanter. As the side of the boat scraped against the wharf he greeted the Teryn and his daughter. "I am First Enchanter Irving, welcome."

Ishild jumped out of the boat and looked up at him scrunching her nose. "Where are all the lake monsters?"

"Ishild—"

Irving lifted a hand to stop Bryce's reprimand. "Sometimes we forget the innocence of simple curiousity." He crouched down closer to Ishild's height. "The lake monsters are currently busy with matters elsewhere in the lake as you can see Calenhad is quite a large lake and they cannot be everywhere at once." Ishild looked at him with a calculating expression then nodded as though she accepted the excuse. Irving gestured towards the tower with a smile. "If you will follow me."

Bryce ruffled his daughter's hair and then fell into step beside the First Enchanter.

An icy autumn wind blew across the lake; it swept over the ramparts of the tower and stirred the leaves still clinging to the twisted branches of the trees. Yellow, bronze and scarlet they shivered against each other, their rustling joining the sorrowful song of wind battered bird. A large star shaped leaf broke free and twisted on the breeze, flipping and frolicking with its loosened brethren Ishild reached out a hand and caught it smiling at the way its sunset orange centre darkened to red at all five pointed tips. She tucked it into the back of her journal and turned to look at the ebony haired boy sitting on the bench she had just vacated. He was staring at the grey sky over the tower wall with a wistful expression.

Jowan was two years older than her; he had been at the circle when she arrived, back then though he had been a weedy half starved looking thing. The kind of child she remembered seeing on the street in Highever. Vagabonds her mother called them, street rats Fergus would correct her. The thought made Ishild smile. Jowan certainly couldn't be mistaken for a street rat now. The last ten years had been kind to him in that he had grown tall and his shoulders thickened. Ishild supposed that other sixteen year old girls might find him attractive but to her he would always just be Jowan. As though sensing her watching him he turned his attention from the sky beyond the wall. The other apprentices were starting to make their way back indoors and noticing this he stood and helped Ishild gather her small collection of books. "Why do you bother bring these out here Ishild? You spend more time collecting flowers to press then reading them."

"They are there if I wish to read them that is what matters." She gave him a winning smile and relieved him of half the pile. It was true she spent a lot of time collecting flowers and leaves, but she would press them then fold them up in her letters to her mother, in which she talked about the beauty of the tower gardens or the simple pleasure she took in walking the yard. Her letters to her father were slightly more practical but she knew they would share the missives with each other and then Fergus and the thought made her smile.

"Sometimes I just don't understand you." Jowan shook his head as they followed the other students back into the building.

"Ishild." Hearing her name called as they entered the tower Ishild turned to see Wynne coming toward her. Jowan had stopped beside Ishild and Wynne looked at him before saying. "Off you go Jowan." Jowan looked like he was going to protest but he merely passed the rest of Ishild's books to her and continued to follow the rest of the students, looking back only once to see Wynne's steely gaze watching him.

"What may I do for you Wynne?" Ishild shifted the books to balance the new weight more evenly, the movement caught Wynne's attention and she looked at the small collections with a raised eyebrow. Ishild gave a slight shrug and a smile in response.

"Irving…the First Enchanter sent me to find you. It would seem you have a visitor." Wynne did not seem put out in the slightest by being asked to deliver the message and she indicated that Ishild follow her which the girl took to mean Wynne had been sent as an escort not a messenger.

"Do you know who?" Ishild asked as she fell into step beside the mage.

"You will see." Wynne then gave the indication that she would remain tight lipped and Ishild should do the same.

As they climbed the stairs heading up towards the First Enchanter's study Ishild wondered who might have come to visit her. She suspected her parents, but Wynne had said visitor not visitors and neither parent shad given any indication of a planned visit in their recent letters. She felt a hopeful flutter in her stomach though as she had not seen her parents in almost half a year. She imagined her father reaching out to ruffle her hair despite the neat braids she now kept it in, he would exclaim about how grow up she was looking and kiss her cheek. Her mother would look on her with stern appraisal and say she was looking to thin even though she had lost her gangly girl's body several seasons ago.

Wynne's knock on the door broke through her thoughts and looked up to see they had arrived. She smiled when she heard the First Enchanter's steady voice invite them in Wynne stood back though and ushered her through the door. The first person Ishild saw when she entered was her father; he was standing beside the First Enchanter's desk beaming with pride when he saw her. "Father!" She didn't care who was present she bounded across the room and placing her books on the corner of the desk she threw her arms around his neck.

"It is good to see you too, Pup." He returned her hug with a quick squeeze and though he did reach out to ruffle her hair seeing the braids he refrained from doing so. Ishild turned to see who else was present but the only other person in the room was the First Enchanter. She tried not to crestfallen as she took a step back from her father. "Your mother couldn't come she is back at Highever planning for the wedding."

"Wedding?" Ishild looked confused and then realised that her father meant Fergus. She let out a sigh knowing full and well she would not be able to attend the event. "Then why are you here Father I would think Mother would want you on hand at home."

He father gave a chuckle. "I had business with Arl Eamon at Redcliff and thought I would stop by on my way home."

"As you are aware Ishild apprentices are not permitted to leave the tower grounds." The First Enchanter's words crushed any flicker of hope she might have had that she would be allowed to go to the wedding.

"I am aware, First Enchanter and I understand." She tried not to look to put out and her father gave her an apologetic smile.

"Maybe next time hey, Pup?" He gave her arm a squeeze and she gave him a small smile.

"Maybe, Father. I am glad you came to see me even if I am not permitted to go with you to Highever." She assumed the visit would be cut short soon because it had not been planned and the tower had certain rules about these things. Of course they were willing to bend these rules slightly for the Teryn; but Ishild knew her father didn't like to flaunt his social standing in that manner.

"I do have a present for you though." He fished in the inner pocket of his tunic and pulled out a small wrapped bundle.

"Oh? What is it?" She asked as he handed it to her. He didn't say just indicated she open it. She felt the package with her fingers, it was wrapped in an old piece of parchment and whatever was inside felt hard so she gave it shake. It made no sound and she looked up to see her father watching her intently. She pulled the piece of string holding the package together off and let the parchment fall open on her hand. Inside was a small silver pendant it was so delicate it looked almost Dalish in origin. She held it up and noted that several small stones were caught in the filigree. She looked up to see that her father was watching and waiting for her reaction. "Thank you, Father I love it." She held it out so he could help her put it on and as the weight of it settled on her chest she picked it up and tucked it safely under the neck of her robes.

It was not long later and they were saying their goodbyes; her father promised her and her mother would visit for her birthday and she thanked him again for the present. She was then dismissed by the First Enchanter who apologised for not letting her go to Highever but she understood and truth be told though she didn't want to miss Fergus' wedding she didn't really want to leave the tower either.

A soft glow caught Irving's attention as he walked through the library. He was looking for apprentices breaking curfew and was sure he had found just that. As he rounded the shelves to confront what he thought would be several apprentices up to no good he saw instead a young woman, her arms folded in front of her on the book she had been reading. Her head resting lightly on her arms like they were a makeshift pillow. There was a very small lock box on the desk next to her quill and ink pot and several folded letters next to it; as he drew closer her saw the collection of pressed flowers, several sitting away from the main pile as though they had been singled out.

It was hard to picture the woman before him as girl who been so enthusiastic about lake monsters when he first met her. It had been so very long ago now, he knew she had been ready to face the harrowing for several years now but he did not know what he would tell Teryn Cousland if she failed. Still he knew he could hold her back no longer he would tell Greygor in the morning that she was ready and they would make preparations.


End file.
